I think we all have our list of the cardinal offenses in housekeeping that we absolutely will not allow ourselves to make. Every list would be different because each of us would have our own pet peeves or reasons behind why that issue seems so crucial to success. One might refuse to ever go one hour over their allotted time for using sheets before washing. One might refuse to ever put sheets on the bed without a crisply ironed finish. One might refuse to go a day without vacuuming and/or mopping the floors. Another might refuse to ever have clothes wrinkled or not hung by color in the closet. You know what yours are and I know mine. I know where I will fudge for a short time and where I draw the line.
One of mine is never, ever, ever running out of toilet paper, laundry detergent, or diapers. As in, when I open a last package of any of these (oh, that just gives me cold sweats, even that should just not occur), the top of the to-do list becomes FIXING THAT ISSUE! You would think I grew up using leaves or something and never wanting to relive my outhouse days. Nothing traumatic happened, but somewhere in my head, it could possibly have to do with having lived 30 minutes from town, it became a cardinal sin to run out of things. Honestly, I feel that way about running out of just about anything household related, but I don’t need to blow into a paper bag over some of them. This, of course, means careful list-making since my errand running is not a spur-of-the-moment thing these days. Then a few years ago, “The Hallelujah Chorus” began to play, I smelled honeysuckle, and all my dreams came true when I discovered the ravishing, life-changing beauty of Amazon’s subscribe and save program. I mean, she is amazing. And no, I am not taking this too seriously. It saves me money, time, energy, stress, and what I need shows up on my doorstep EVEN IF I FORGOT I NEEDED IT! Don’t live another day without considering this. You can easily cancel or set your delivery schedule, they notify you that they’re about to ship in case you’ve changed your mind this month, and you don’t pay for shipping. And did I mention that at some point while your children are taking naps a box shows up at your door (you become very grateful you don’t use profanity if they ring the doorbell and wake up the baby), and then you bring the box inside and have diapers. Or wipes. Or coconut oil. Or toothpaste. Or whatever else you need. Obviously you have to compare prices because not all items will be cost-effective this way, but I have found many are. Plus, it feels like Christmas when you get boxes and you always have some for giveaway runs to Goodwill.
And it costs you less than it would if you dragged all four kids to the store, watched a woman shopping alone and wearing a jogging outfit (I THOUGHT you wanted to exercise!) take the only close parking space while you pulled aforementioned four small kids through the parking lot, dumped them into the only basket in the store that squeaks and pulls heavily to the left so that you look drunk and crazy as you’re attempting to walk in a straight line. After this, you would explain to your children again that we are buying diapers only while you walk past many, many more interesting and distracting items. You would then find some way to put the diapers or other oddly-shaped objects into the offending cart with the disappointed children. Fortunately by the time you got to the checkout line you have trained them well enough that they know asking for candy in line basically results in a fate worse than death for the inquisitive party so the checkout process goes fairly well until your son looks at the cashier and says, “I haven’t had anything to eat and I’m SOOOO hungry.” At this point you would have graciously removed yourself before CPS was called, gone home, made lunch, realized you forgot something you needed, and made a list for the next time you have the insane death wish to go shopping.
Or you could have used subscribe and save. (You could also try cloth diapering but that’s for another blog.) Call me when you’re ready to express your undying affection for how this has changed your life.